As Spencer parked his car in the parking lot at the BAU, he let out a soft sigh. Rarely did he drive his car anywhere, most especially to work. But today there hadn’t been a choice. He hadn’t felt up to walking to the bus stop, or dealing with all the people on the ride in. After turning the engine off, he simply lay his head back and let his eyes close.
The night had not gone well. Michael had reacted just as badly as Spencer had expected he would. The ache that sat in his body was testament to that.
How the hell had he got himself into this kind of situation? He was a profiler, for God’s sake! A trained observer. Shouldn’t he have seen the signs long before he got himself into this hell he now lived in?
You’re an idiot he told himself. Not even worth the degrees or the job you have. You’re supposed to be trained to know the minds of the sickest people in the planet. But you couldn’t see the signs of violence in your own boyfriend. It’s your own damn fault you’re in this mess to begin with. It doesn’t help that you piss him off all the time. Count yourself lucky you even have someone in your life.
In that moment, he could perfectly see the evolution of their relationship. He could see all the little things Michael had done to downgrade Spencer’s self-esteem until there was almost none left. Not that it had been hard to do. He’d always suffered from a low dose of self-esteem. It had made him easy prey for a person like Michael to swoop in.
The first two months had been wonderful. From the first date to the first kiss, it had been like a Godsend. Part of Spencer had known that his heart wasn’t fully in the relationship; how could it be, when someone else held his heart? But the person who held it was so far out of his league that there wasn’t even a slight chance of them ever being together. Spencer had accepted that and had tried to move on. Now, he could see how that had made him vulnerable to Michael.
Two months, two days and fifty four minutes from when they became boyfriends was the first time that Michael had hit him. Just a slap to the face, which had shocked Spencer almost speechless. Looking back, he didn’t know why he hadn’t left then. Why he had stayed. But, he had.
Two months, twenty days and eight minutes; that was the first time he’d ever beaten Spencer. Not just hit him, but full-fledged beat him. Again, he should have left. But he hadn’t. Again, he’d stayed. That night was also the night he lost his virginity, and the first night Michael had raped him.
It still amazed him that none of his co-workers had recognized anything wrong with him. Or, if they had, that they didn’t know what it was. Maybe they do know his mind taunted him once again. Maybe they just don’t care. Maybe they think Michael is right; you’re worthless and you deserve this. If you didn’t piss him off, he wouldn’t have to hurt you. But you just keep making him mad. You’re such an idiot.
Logically, he knew the beatings weren’t his fault. He knew that. But it didn’t stop the little thoughts from plaguing him. At one time, those had kept him there. Now he stayed for wholly different reasons.
Four months, seven days and eleven minutes; that was when Spencer tried to walk away. He’d come home to his apartment, his mind and heart steeled with resolve. He was not going to live like this anymore. He was tired of hurting; tired of covering up the bruises at work. Just, tired. Of everything. But when he’d told Michael that they were over and he needed to leave, Michael had flipped.
He’d beaten Spencer more severely than ever before. Then, when Spencer had been a bleeding mess on the ground, Michael had told him that if he ever thought to try to leave him, he would go after the precious team he loved so much and kill them all. He would take away everyone that meant anything to Spencer.
So, he stayed. What else could he do?
It had now been twelve months, thirty days and…forty four minutes since they’d become boyfriends. In that time, Spencer had lived his life in a constant state of pain, the only breaks being when they went on cases. Those were the only times his life felt anywhere near normal anymore. The only time he felt human. Even if he spent half the time lying to his friends, it still felt so blessedly wonderful to be around them. At the same time, it was exhausting.
He’d perfected the art of covering bruises. Even ones that might have been seen; those he had learned to cover with makeup or stories of his own clumsiness. Bruises, welts, broken bones. Once he’d come to work with a broken wrist and three fractured ribs. The ribs he hadn’t told anyone about. The wrist, he claimed he’d fallen in the ice at the bus stop. They had believed it. Just like they believed him when he had been hospitalized over break and Aaron had found out, bringing the team. He told them he’d been mugged. That had been seven months ago, before Michael had learned control. They’d bought that story.
No one ever saw what was underneath his clothes. No one saw the old bruises or the new, or the scars he had collected.
Shuddering, Spencer prayed he had decently covered any marks this time. This beating had been a bad one. He’d known it would be from the instant Aaron had delivered the news.
Lost in thought, Spencer saw the night replay in his mind, images he wished he could stop but couldn’t seem to find the strength. They were forever burned there.
“You have to do WHAT?” Michael snarled. He rose from the couch, stepping away from Spencer. Fury was snapping in his eyes.
From his seat on the couch, Spencer instinctively drew in on himself, preparing for the explosion that he knew was coming. “I’m sorry, Michael. I have to go. I wish it wasn’t so long, but it’s undercover work. That takes time.”
“Two and a half months, Spencer? You expect me to just accept that you’re disappearing on me for two and a half months and that it’s just for work? You’re trying to leave me, aren’t you?”
Panicked, Spencer rose, his eyes going wide. “No, no!” he insisted, reaching for his boyfriend. When his hands were slapped back, he bit his lip and pulled his arms around his waist. “I swear to you, I’m just going undercover. I have to, Michael. I’m the only one that fits the criteria.” No need to tell him that Morgan was going to be there with him. If he did that, there was no telling what Michael would do. The topic of Morgan was a touchy one in their house.
“What exactly are you doing? What’s this big undercover assignment that’s so damn important?”
“I…I can’t tell you.” This part was hard. He knew it would infuriate Michael even more. Make him more suspicious. “Until the assignment is over, who I am and what I’m doing is classified. Only my team and Johnson’s team are privy to the details. That guarantees a smaller chance of my cover being blown.”
The blow to the face was expected but no less painful. Spencer found himself on the ground, the taste of blood in his mouth. The only thought he had was that he hoped Michael hadn’t bruised his face. It was hard to hide bruising on his face.
When he saw the look in his boyfriend’s eyes, Spencer knew what was coming for him and he whimpered. With a skill born of practice, he drew into the shelter of his own mind. There, he still felt the pain, still knew what was going on around him, but in a detached sort of way. He could almost watch like it was happening to someone else. While his body was beaten and violated, Spencer prayed for it to be over and thanked whatever God there was that he was going to have two and a half months to recover before he had to deal with this once again.
Now, though, he found himself thinking of all the things that could go wrong with this. He was going to be living with Morgan for potentially two and a half months. How was this going to work? They would have to pretend to be boyfriends the entire time. Did the Unsub watch the couples before he took them? Did he stalk them first? How far was this charade going to have to go?
More than that, how was he going to hide the marks on his body while living with Morgan? Morgan, his best friend. Morgan, whom he loved more than anyone else and could never have. Morgan, who was one of the most observant people that Spencer knew. His best friend had already guessed that there was something going on with Spencer. Over the past year, he had cornered Spencer on multiple occasions, trying to talk to him about what was going on with him. Asking him what was wrong. Reminding him that he could talk to him if he needed. Each time, Spencer had to fight back blurting out the truth. Each time, he had to lie.
How would he hide it now? What if he was changing and Morgan came in and saw his body before the bruises healed? What if he saw the scars that peppered Spencer’s skin? His light complexion seemed to make those scars stand out. Panic started to grow. There was no way he could do this. No way whatsoever. Morgan would find out the truth and then he would be furious. He’d want to kill Michael. Most of all, he wouldn’t let Spencer go back home. Then…then Michael would come after the team. Spencer knew he couldn’t be responsible for that.
Get a grip! You’ve kept your secret for twelve months. You can keep it for two and a half more. Use this time to think, you idiot. Use it to try and figure out what to do. To have time to heal. Don’t be an idiot and throw away a two and a half month break—two and a half months without a single beating—just because you’re a little afraid. Quit being such a coward!
With that bolstering thought, Spencer climbed carefully from his car. He would not change his mind. He was going on this assignment and that was that.
Carefully he pulled his fragile shield around himself and headed toward the BAU. If he was lucky, no one would notice the slight limp or the way he sat gingerly. Hopefully they wouldn’t see through the makeup on his left eye that hid the slight bruise marring the skin there. Luckily that had been only minor. It was between his shoulders and his knees that had the worst damage. He had to force his arm not to wrap around his waist as he walked. Hopefully they didn’t notice that either. Thankfully, he could tell the ribs weren’t broken, only bruised. Two of them, if he counted right. But they hurt. He was going to have to be careful for the next little while to let them heal right and to keep them from the notice of Morgan.
By the time he made it to the conference room upstairs, he was slightly dizzy but he was still walking steady. The others were already there, waiting for him. He shuffled in and dropped his bag beside his chair before taking a seat. It took all his practice to keep his expression contained when his backside came in contact with the chair and the pain rocketed inside of him. “Sorry I’m late. I had to drive today and my car wouldn’t start.” He lied easily. Too easily.
Aaron gave him a stern look but didn’t contest his statement. He shuffled through the paperwork in front of him until he found what he wanted, passing a file over to Spencer. “Here are your back stories. I imagine you can read and memorize it faster than I can explain it to you, but I’ll tell the rest of you.”
With half an ear Spencer listened to his boss talk while he looked over his file.
“Since the Unsub doesn’t know you two, you can keep your first names. That should make it easier to converse with one another and with other people. Morgan, you will be twenty nine year old Derek Isaac Mathews, originally from Los Angeles, California. You’re a bit of a trust fund kid, which at least one victim out of each couple was. That’s how you two have a house instead of Reid staying at the dorms. This means you don’t have to work, which will give you time to integrate yourself around the campus life. You’ve graduated high school but have no ambitions to attend college at the moment. You’re just along for the ride with your boyfriend. Your parents passed away three years ago in a plane crash. Because of that, you’re the sole heir of every bit of their money.”
“Sweet.” Morgan said with a grin. The others chuckled at him.
Rolling his eyes, Aaron continued. “Reid, you’ll be twenty three year old Spencer David Allen. You’re going to Penn State to get a Ph.D. in Applied Linguistics. I thought that, as long as you were forced to go to class, we might as well make it something you might enjoy a little.”
At that comment, the young agent couldn’t help his small smile. “Thanks Hotch.” He smiled at his boss. Applied linguistics would be interesting; there was no doubt on that. At least he wouldn’t be totally bored in his classes.
“No problem. Now, you grew up in a single father home. You’re smart, but not listed as smart as you really are. We don’t want to scare him away with your brains, so we dumbed you down a little.” At the expression on Spencer’s face, Aaron gave him a rare smile. “You’re still listed with some of your skills, Reid. We made sure your transcripts list your ability to read at your normal pace. I figured that would be something that would be hard for you to hide. But none of the other victims showed signs of having that high of an IQ. This means you need to remember that your cover graduated all the grades at all the right ages and doesn’t know all the things you know.”
After a pause for another laugh, which grew a little at Spencer’s continued blush, Aaron kept on.
“You and Derek have been dating for three years now. You moved in together about six months ago. Finally, Derek convinced you to let him fund your college education. You two are leasing a house together for the duration of your stay at Penn State.”
He put his files down and looked at the two men, his expression even more serious than before. “Our Unsub stalks his victims before taking them. For weeks, it appears. All have been taken out of their homes. Each couple rented a home instead of staying in a dorm. Evidence says he came into their home anywhere from midnight to six am and took them from there. There’s no sign of forced entry on any home, which means he most likely manages to get a copy of the key or has access to the homes.”
“It says that they think he goes into the house while the couples are gone.” Emily added. Her eyes were scanning the file in front of her. “Do you think he’s setting up cameras or microphones?”
“Johnson kept this bit quiet, but there were cameras mounted in each of the homes. Things suggest that the cameras were in there before the couples moved in, which adds to the belief that he has access to the homes. But University students and staff can participate in an outreach program that allows them to show houses to prospective renters, so there are plenty of people who would have that kind of access.”
“Damn.” Emily muttered.
“Ironically, they’re not in the bathroom, which is usually a common place that stalkers put a camera. There is one in the bedroom, living room, and dining room of each house, though. Hidden by things around them, but Johnson’s team found them while they were there. When he leaves, the Unsub doesn’t bother taking them with him.”
Garcia walked in just then, immediately picking up her boss’s explanation. “They’re just little cameras, no mic on them.” She said while bustling to the table. “They stream live to a website where he can access and watch it. They haven’t been able to hack the website where it gets sent to. Hopefully I’ll be able to when you guys get in there. Once you guys get there, you’ll need to be careful. I’ll give you directions on finding the cameras without being obvious once you’re there.”
“So basically we have to make sure we act our part even when we’re home, huh?” Morgan chuckled and shook his head. “Ought to be interesting. At least we won’t have to worry about microphones.”
“That we know of so far.” Garcia corrected. “He could take those when he leaves.”
Morgan rolled his eyes at her. “Thanks for the reassurance, baby girl.”
“Anytime.”
“Children.” Aaron drawled. All eyes turned back to him, each person chuckling at his dry tone. “Until we know whether or not there are microphones in the house, you two, try and act the part even in the house. If you need a serious, private conversation, go into the bathroom and pretend to shower. Or take a drive. Anywhere you can guarantee privacy. You’re going to have to live as Derek Matthews and Spencer Allen.”
When Aaron turned toward him, Spencer nodded his reassurance. He tried to make his expression just a little confident. He could do this. He would do this. If anything, it actually made it a little easier on him. If he was playing a part, there was less of a chance that Morgan would notice something was wrong with him. He would just put it down to Spencer trying to be Spencer Allen. That could only help him in his cause to keep his secret from his friend.
There were a few more details that were ironed out. When their flight was leaving to bring them in to Pennsylvania. They couldn’t fly on the jet, needing to maintain their cover right from the start. So the two were flying in on a regular plane. Garcia had prepared identification for them, as well as creating false backstories, making a paper trail so that anyone who looked into them would think they really existed. Spencer took his new license from her and put it in his wallet, handing over any identification in there that would label him as Spencer Reid on the off chance that the Unsub searched their stuff in the house.
Then Garcia gave them each a cell phone that she was set to monitor and they gave her their phones. Morgan handed his over with the warning “Mess with it, mama, and your ass is mine.”
“Promises, promises.” She batted her lashes at him coyly and had the entire room laughing.
The last thing they handed over was their badges. Aaron was letting them keep their sidearm and Morgan’s backup piece at his ankle, but those would need to be hidden somewhere inside the house. Spencer was given all the information and paperwork necessary to start his enrollment at Penn State; no one at the college had been informed of the undercover operation, which meant that Spencer really was going to have to act like a student. They couldn’t risk telling a dean or teacher and having it be their Unsub.
Finally the two men were ready to go. The last things they were given were two credit cards, one in each of their names, and a debit card in Morgan’s name that was supposed to access his ‘trust fund’. Aaron warned them of the money limits on those and gave Morgan a serious look when he told him not to go crazy spending bureau money. The only things they should need to buy would be essentials, or to use them to go out places. They had to be seen out and about as a couple as well. All the other couples had been known for going out to eat and to the movies and occasionally to a club.
Then, after brief hugs all around that had Spencer wanting to drop to the floor with the pain they caused, the others left to get their things ready to head out on the jet. Only Morgan and Spencer were left in the conference room, looking at each other across the table. One look told Spencer that he may have completely fooled the others, but something about his act this morning had caught Morgan’s attention.
Sure enough, a moment later his friend asked “Reid, are you ok?” Morgan leaned forward on the table, his eyes serious. It was the same expression he wore whenever he was worried about someone he cared about. His friends, his family. Seeing it, Spencer fought with the same urge he always did; to simply unload his problems on a shoulder that he knew would be there for him. But he couldn’t. Most especially not now.
So Spencer forced a smile on his face and prayed that Morgan either wouldn’t see through it, or wouldn’t question it if he did. “I’m fine.”
The worry in Morgan’s eyes grew just a little. “You know you can talk to me, right? You can tell me anything, kid. It won’t go any further than us.”
The effort it took to keep his secret inside was monumental. “I know, Morgan. Thanks. But everything really is fine.” I wish I could tell you the truth. I really do. I wish I could let you help me. I need help! But I can’t risk something happening to any of you. I’m sorry.
“Is it the case? You not quite comfortable with being undercover for this long?”
“No, it’s fine.” Spencer shook his head, feeling an honest smile on his lips. Morgan was like a dog with a bone when he wanted to be. “At least I’ve got you there instead of Hotch or something. Imagine living two and a half months pretending to be dating him.”
The two men shared a chuckle, the tension in the room momentarily broken. “Amen to that, pretty boy. That would’ve been just a little too serious for me. At least I can get you to have fun with me.”
Rising, they each grabbed their bags from the floor. Spencer only had one with him, not having had time to pack anything but clothes. He also had cash in there, just in case he needed to get some things that he might have forgotten. Cash couldn’t be traced back to his real identity.
“Well, Spencer,” Morgan put special emphasis on his first name, making them both smile. “Let’s go catch our flight. You ready to put on the performance of a lifetime?”
Spencer met his gaze and nodded. “Ready. Let’s go.”