Amusement lit Spencer’s eyes as he glanced across the car at his lover. He and Morgan had taken their shower and had spent a little more ‘together time’ in the bedroom before falling asleep for a little while. But once they were up, Spencer had watched Morgan become slightly restless. Though the man professed that he wanted to relax on his time off, he was one of those people that just couldn’t be still for too long. He wasn’t a ‘laze-around-the-house’ kind of guy. So Spencer had suggested that they take the truck Morgan used when he worked on his properties and go over to Spencer’s apartment and load up a bunch of things—couch included. The idea had been met with enthusiasm.
After calling his sisters to let them know they were heading out, the two had made their way to the truck and were now traveling to Spencer’s apartment. He didn’t say anything but he was glad that Morgan was coming over with him. Just walking into the apartment was a little hard on Spencer. The few times he’d come here since moving in with Morgan, he had always made sure to bring Morgan with him. The older man never questioned it or commented on it. Most likely he knows without you having to tell him. He knows you pretty well.
“You just going to sit there and grin at me, pretty boy, or you going to share what’s so funny?”
Realizing that he’d been caught watching Morgan and smiling, the younger man let his smile grow into a grin. “Just lost in thought, Derek. That’s all.”
Morgan slanted him a look as he took the turn onto Spencer’s old street. “Mmhmm, sure. Why do I get the feeling it was more than that?”
“Maybe because you’re paranoid?” Spencer teased him. He couldn’t resist teasing with Morgan. There was something that felt so good about being able to joke with another person. To be able to play and tease and laugh and not be the odd one out anymore who didn’t understand what was being said or what was going on. He was free to play around and not have to worry about what kind of consequences he was saying something that wasn’t considered appropriate.
A low growl from his lover had Spencer stifling a chuckle. He unbuckled his seatbelt as Morgan parked the car and quickly darted out once it was off, knowing that Morgan would reach for him to try and get him to talk. His laughter rang through the air as he hurried up to the front of his apartment complex. He knew that Morgan was just right behind him.
Finally Morgan caught up to him at the elevator. When they were inside, he pinned Spencer up against the wall, their faces inches away from one another. “Someone’s in an awfully frisky mood today.” Morgan murmured. His eyes were twinkling, though. “Frisky on the couch, goofing off in the car. Teasing and taunting me. Wake up in a good mood, baby boy?”
He shrugged and leaned in to take a quick kiss. “Just happy.”
“Well, I like it.” One of Morgan’s hands came up to stroke over the side of Spencer’s face. “I like seeing you smile like this. You have a beautiful smile.”
No matter how many times he heard it, that never failed to put a little flutter in Spencer’s stomach or to make his cheeks heat. He thought to himself that he’d never get tired of hearing Morgan compliment him. Which was a good thing, because Morgan did it constantly. He was saved from trying to come up with a response by the sound of the elevator stopping and the doors opening. The two joined hands and moved out into the hallway and down to Spencer’s door.
The anxiety started, same as it always did. It took everything Spencer had to push it down and to make himself put his key in the lock. He tried to hold on to his good mood as they went into the never used apartment. Quite a bit of the apartment was already packed up. For that, Spencer was thankful. He didn’t want to spend much time here. To distract Morgan and himself, Spencer put his hands on his hips and looked around. “Well, let’s get some of this down to the truck. The couch will be the biggest pain, I do believe. Why don’t we get that out first?”
Neither one of them was looking forward to getting the couch out of the apartment. There was no way they’d be able to take it into the elevator, which meant that they’d have to take it down the stairs. With twin grins, the two looked at the couch and back at one another. “Let’s do this.” Morgan said with a large sigh.
CMCM
It took them almost two hours to get everything they wanted from the apartment. Then, once back at Morgan’s, it took them another hour to get everything inside, take the old couch out to the truck to go to the dump at some point soon, and then come back inside and get things unloaded. Once things were unpacked, it was getting close to dinner and the girls were due home soon. Spencer took a look around the kitchen, trying to figure out what they had to make. “Why don’t you go ahead and take care of the old couch, Derek? I’ll throw something together for dinner while you’re gone.”
“I thought maybe we’d break the couch in first.” Morgan said as he slid up behind Spencer and wrapped his arms around his waist.
Humor lit Spencer’s eyes. He let himself be embraced for a moment, enjoying the feel of his lover’s embrace. Then he pulled away and turned his head just enough to grin at him. “Your sisters should be home before too long and that’s the last thing I want them to come home and catch us doing.” He moved to the pantry and opened the door, sticking his head inside to look at their stock. “You go take care of business. I promise, first chance we get to be alone, we’ll break it in.” He called out over his shoulder.
There was a grunt from Morgan followed by a few footsteps before Spencer felt a hand connect with his backside. He just grinned even more and peeked back out over his shoulder in enough time to see Morgan heading out of the kitchen and chuckling. “Love ya, Spence!” Morgan called out. “I’ll be back in a flash.”
“Thanks for the warning!” Spencer called back to him with a snicker. “And I love you too!”
He couldn’t help but laugh when he heard Morgan yell “Smart ass!” before he went out the door. The good mood stayed with Spencer as he went back into the pantry. He heard Clooney come up beside him and absently reached down to scratch the dog’s head while he looked around. What should he make for dinner? Cooking wasn’t exactly his best skill but there were things he knew how to make and he had the urge to make something nice. Not only for himself and Morgan, but for the girls as well.
You just want to show them you know how to take care of Derek too. The thought slithered in as he a package of noodles from the shelf. There was just enough time to throw together a chicken alfredo dish. He hummed to himself as he pulled out the necessary ingredients and started to cook. He had the chicken done and was starting to cut it into pieces when the front door opened and feminine laughter filled the house. Clooney naturally took off in the direction of the front door, barking like mad. There was the sound of the girls greeting the dog and bags being moved.
Moments later, one set of footsteps came toward the kitchen. Spencer turned his head just enough to see that it was Sara who came walking in. She looked at him, that same look in her eyes that had been there earlier. It made Spencer slightly nervous. She doesn’t quite like you. You’ve seen that look from a lot of people. You know what it means. It’s usually the look they wear right before they call you a freak. He kept his voice neutral when he spoke, though, not wanting to come off as rude to Morgan’s sister. “Enjoy your trip?”
“Yeah, we did.” Sara answered in an almost casual voice. There was an edge there that said exactly how uncomfortable she was. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was him in general that made her uncomfortable, or just the way he looked at the moment, totally at ease and cooking in the kitchen. Did she hold hopes that he wasn’t really living here? That he was going to leave? If she did, she had another thing coming.
Even though part of Spencer was trying to shuffle and shift uncomfortably, he tried to draw himself up and keep as calm as possible. He was not going to let her bother him. For all you know, you’re overreacting. You could just be so nervous that you’re misreading her body language. It is a possibility. Quit being so damn paranoid and relax. This is your kitchen too! You have every right to make yourself at home here!
With that in mind, he continued to cut the chicken, tossing the pieces into a bowl. At the same time he kept an eye on the pasta that was boiling on the stovetop. “Where’s Desiree? I thought I heard the two of you come in together.” He kept his voice friendly. Maybe if he was relaxed and friendly, she might relax around him a little.
He heard the sound of a chair being pulled back as Sara evidently settled herself at the table. “She went to go put things away and take a shower.”
“Ah.” Grimacing, he put the cutting board and knife into the sink to wash when he was done and he moved over to start the sauce simmering after giving the noodles a quick stir. Dammit, he wasn’t great at small talk on an average day. How on earth was he supposed to make small talk with Morgan’s sister? Still, he had to make an attempt. “I, ah, I hope you two like alfredo. It’s one of Derek’s favorites, so I thought I’d make it for him. He went to ah, to get rid of the old couch. He should be home soon.” Quit babbling. Idiot.
“So we’re alone right now?”
Shit. That doesn’t sound good, does it? Aw, hell. “For the moment, yes.” He had to work to keep his hands from shaking as he continued to make his sauce. This wasn’t going to be pleasant. He just knew it. Something told him that Sara wasn’t asking about their privacy out of just random curiosity. People usually only wanted to talk in private that way when they had something important to say. Something in Spencer told him that her idea of ‘important conversation’ wasn’t going to be very much fun for him.
His suspicions were confirmed a moment later. “Good.” Sara said firmly. All signs of shyness were gone from her voice. “Between just you and me, I want to know what your intentions are with Derek. What is it exactly that you’re doing here? What do you want from him?”
“Want from him?” Surprise, Spencer turned to look at her. “I don’t understand what you mean.”
Sara didn’t bother to hide her expression this time. She was looking at him with annoyance right at the moment. “Why are you with Derek? More than that, why are you living here?”
His eyebrows furrowed with his confusion. “I’m with him because I love him and he loves me. Isn’t that the reason that two people are usually together?” The question wasn’t meant to come off as sarcastic or glib. He was honestly confused. What kind of answer did she expect him to give? It felt like she was hinting at somethin but he wasn’t understanding it. “As for why I live here, well…again, isn’t that what couples eventually do? They move in with one another after a period of time.”
“But you two have barely been dating. What on earth makes you guys think that moving in so quickly was a good idea? What if something goes wrong and you to split? You’ve barely been dating at all and you’ve been living here for a while!”
Spencer had never thought about it along those lines. Moving in with Morgan had just been the right thing to do. For the both of them. To give himself time to think on how to answer, he turned and stirred his sauce and his noodles, making sure not to burn dinner. When he was done, he turned to look at Sara again. She hadn’t moved from her spot at the table .She still sat there, arms folded on the table top, staring at him with that serious Morgan gaze. It was the same one that Morgan used when he was in interrogation. “There were quite a few factors that led to us moving in together so soon. Most of all, it was what the both of us wanted. We may have only been dating for what you consider a short time, but we have known one another for a long time.” He tried to explain.
She didn’t seem satisfied with that answer. “Being friends is one thing. Being a couple is another. I just think you two seem to be rushing into everything. Are you afraid that you’ll lose him if you take it slow? Is that what this is about?”
Wait, what? Wow. Afraid I’ll lose him? Of course I am! All the time. But that wasn’t why I moved in with him. Why is she so antagonistic about this? And why the hell can’t Desiree come out or Derek come home? I do not want to have this conversation! There was no one coming to save him, though. He was going to have to grit his teeth and handle this on his own. You can’t always have him fighting your battles for you anyways. You can handle a simple sisterly interrogation. “I didn’t move in with him out of fear of losing him. There were extenuating circumstances that prompted our decision. Still, we’ve never regretted it. The two of us are happy here. We cohabit because it makes us happy.”
“What kind of circumstances? You still have your apartment.”
This was getting into an area that Spencer wasn’t willing to open up about. He didn’t want to tell her about everything that had happened with Michael. There was just no way that he could bring himself to tell her something that personal. “Those are between Derek and myself. I don’t feel that it’s necessary for me to explain our decisions.”
Flustered and slightly annoyed, Spencer turned back to the food. He took the noodles off the stove and drained them into the waiting strainer in the other side of the sink. He was setting the empty pot on a potholder to cool when Sara spoke up once more. “You shouldn’t be too eager to empty out your apartment. I know Derek and I know he’s not…he’s not gay. Sooner or later he’s going to open his eyes and realize that this life isn’t what he wants. That you aren’t what he wants.”
Spencer turned toward her, eyes wide. He didn’t get a chance to defend himself. Sara just kept going, her hard eyes locked on him. “Derek wants kids one day. He wants a family. He wants a woman that can provide all that for him. You can’t. Men together, it’s just not natural and Derek knows that. He’ll wake up to it sooner or later.”
Finally Spencer managed to find his voice. “Derek and I love one another. That’s not going to change, Sara, just because you’re uncomfortable with the idea of homosexuality. We both are who we are. That’s not going to change.”
“My brother is not gay!” Sara exclaimed furiously. Her eyes narrowed and she sneered at him. “And even if he was, he’d have a lot better taste than some androgynous little nerd like you. I know my brother. You’re just some rebellious little phase he’s going through and soon enough, he’s going to snap out of it. Just you wait and see. He’s going to wake up one morning and look at you and realize what a mistake he made. He doesn’t want some stuttering, clumsy, scrawny little geek. He’s told us about you. About that big ol brain of yours. About the way you rattle off statistics constantly. How long do you think it’ll take before you drive him up the wall, huh? I bet you rattle them off in the bedroom too, don’t you? What guys going to want someone like that in their bed when they can go out and find a real woman to satisfy them?”
Shock had Spencer frozen in place. He couldn’t stay anything, couldn’t even move. The sound of a car pulling into the drive was what finally broke the moment between them. Sara rose from her chair and moved to where the wine and wine glasses were, acting as if she hadn’t said anything. Acting as if she hadn’t taking Spencer’s biggest fears and just threw them right out there in his face.
It was the sound of the door opening that finally spurred Spencer to move. He turned back to his sauce, checking it and finding it was done, blinking rapidly the whole time to try and dispel the sheen of tears in his eyes. The last thing he was going to do was stand here and cry. One, he wasn’t going to give Sara the satisfaction of knowing she’d gotten to him that badly. Two, he wasn’t going to let Morgan know that he was that upset. He wasn’t going to let him know about the conversation at all.
You’re just afraid to tell him about it because you’re afraid she’s right. This thing you have with Derek, it’s too good to be true. You’ve known that from the get go. One of these days you’re going to have to face it.
He heard Morgan coming into the house, moving toward the dining room and greeting his sister. That gave Spencer just enough time to compose himself before Morgan’s arms came around his waist and a kiss was pressed to his cheek. “Mm, you’re making alfredo. You know I love that stuff, baby boy.” The warm voice in his ear made him shiver.
Faking a smile, Spencer brought one hand up to press over Morgan’s hands which were resting on his stomach. “It’ll be ready soon.” He told his lover. With sheer will he pushed his fears to the back of his mind as best as he could. He didn’t want Morgan reading in his voice that something was wrong. When he turned, he caught Sara’s eye, saw the quick flash there. It made his heart ache. Using every ounce of strength he had, he locked it away and tipped his head to smile at Morgan. If what she said was true, he was going to absorb every moment he could get with the man he loved. Because any pain he suffered later was going to be worth it for these moments of love now. Of that, Spencer was positive.